I really do. I hate the grey skies and the lack of light. I don't remember hating it when I was a kid but I certainly hate it now. This morning there was a story on the news about Britain not being so bad weather wise. I believe it was a story about tourism but Matthew and I were too busy mocking it to really pay attention. 'Britain not as bad as you though. Bring your umbrella. We're sorry. More tea?' or something to that effect anyway.
Matt tolerates me in winter, I really am lucky that I have him and that he loves me and can deal with my melancholy nature, slips into depression, and general hatred for humanity.
Well that last one he shares with me so we are pretty much well matched, save for me being slightly more evil and him being much more happy go lucky that I have ever been. Harrison loves the winter but he is eight and snow is magic, even two inches of snow that barely lasted a week and more icy slush and black ice more days than there was snow worth playing with.
I haven't been blogging or on the Internet much lately mostly bundled up under blankets reading books and fic and watching terrible (the good sort of terrible) movies and too much tv. I am hibernating... or a hermit. Probably the latter. I have finally started crafting again, in fact I finished making a doll just yesterday but she doesn't have a story just yet, though I'm pretty sure she hates the winter as much as I do.
So I'm here sat by the fire with a stack of books and magazines to read, an unnamed doll who is begging for a story and a little grey cat purring at me. I think I hear the coffee machine calling my name in the quite while Harrison is playing in his room destroying everything I spent the day tidying up. I may hate winter but I'm feeling better than I have in months, the magic of a happy eight year old and rediscovering my crafting muse.
hey everybody sorry I haven't blogged in forever but I took a break from blogging and the internets. Shocking I know but I needed some time to myself to sit and read, listen to random music on my ipod, read a bit more, sulk a bit and feel a bit homesick for the states. Autumn is my favourite time of year.... but not here. I have lived in England for 11 years and still sometimes I feel like an utter fraud. I can casually talk about the weather for about 30 seconds before my mind wanders off and I desperately wish to shoot myself in the head with an overly dramatic finger gun. I am utterly abysmal at small talk anyway so usually attempt to avoid it at all costs when on the school run. Thankfully I'm quiet and shy and only a few friendly parents talk to me anyway.
I have always been reserved and have a tendency to withdraw into myself for a bit, fall into an out of the puddles, lakes and oceans of depression. I'm ok just a bit down, I miss my parents. I miss the dogs. I miss the states at this time of year. I miss Idaho and California. I miss the autumn festivities of being in the states surrounded by autumn leaves, pumpkin spice lattes (I don't drink them I just like the idea of them), pumpkins, pie and just all things Americana.
This is my time of year, I really don't give a damn for winter and Christmas, Matt says that's because I'm a Grinch. I just say it's because I hate 98% of Christmas music. I adore Halloween, I always have, and Day of the Dead is pretty damn awesome too. I hate that the schools here don't do anything fun and Halloween related. Halloween is pretty much a bust anyway, maybe in another 5 or 10 years they will get it right. Maybe not.
I have so many things ticking over in my brain and I have taken the last few weeks to just curl up read books, magazines, fan fiction, and even plot out a few broken fairy tales of my own here and there. I am fine. See I said it so it must be true, it's just sometimes hard to remotely attempt to be vaguely perfect. Not that I am anywhere near perfect, if I was I wouldn't be this fat, this grumpy or this hard on myself for every little thing I think is something I am or have done wrong.
I have never been a bubbly blonde, my roots are very very dark but the last few weeks of having a break and having a week away down in Dorset have settled my mind a bit. I do love England and Dorset is beautiful though I did find myself feeling just a little heartbroken on the beach missing the Pacific ocean just north of Bodega Bay in California. I did find some pretty pebbles to bring home with me so that's all good right?
I find it strange that I have barely been on the internets for weeks on end and not done any blogging and here I am having a cathartic whine about nothing and everything.
I really think I need coffee.
And to work on some blog posts of a crafty nature.
I shall go bumble into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee and see about working on something creative this afternoon while H is at his grandma's house.
Also I may need cake. Good thing there is some leftover from H's 8th birthday party. Yup my little boy is the grand old age of eight. He is still brilliant and sweet and an utterly charming, wild, loud, imaginative and excitable kid.
I'm ok and I'm happy but sometimes, sometimes I need to curl up and hide inside my head. I'm going to go put my ipod on and shuffle the laundry along and think a bit more.
Your regularly scheduled blogging shall hopefully resume soon.
I'm not much of a girly girl most of my handbags are simple and functional, my favourite bags are probably the two men's leather satchels that I have had forever or so it feels anyway. For the last few weeks I have been using a book bag/shopping bag I got in the sale at American Eagle Outfitters last April. I bought it on my birthday with a larger red satchel/man bag as my present. Why am I going on about bags? Well A Thrifty Mrs blogged about her's yesterday and as H is having a lie down on my bed watching cartoons I thought I would work on a quick blog post while I drink a cup of tea. Yes really I have a cup of tea.
the contents of my bag
First there is the vintage flowery purse it holds all my precious pennies and paper..and occasionally random buttons too. I found that purse in a thrift shop in Railroad Square in Santa Rosa while shopping with Apron Thrift Girl a few years ago. It's lived in my various bags ever since.
A little dusky pink leather card holder it was ridiculously cheap in T.K. Max and I had to have it to hold a random assortment of credit and store cards.
A few of my new moo cards in case I run into anyone to swap with or anyone that enquires what do I do all day.
Ipod and headphones. I can't walk without my headphones on listening to whatever music I'm currently obsessed with.
House keys with a little torch/flashlight.
Notebook for doodling and writing plus a pen and pencil to do said writing.
A silver fruit knife that my dad gave to me.
A birdy pouch that most of the small junk fits into. I bought the pouch in the shop at the end of the Seattle Underground tour.
That's about it for my handbag though there are a few things not in there. I quite often bring a book with me where ever I go but I just started reading A Game of Thrones yesterday and I'm not lugging that house brick with me everywhere. Also Matt has a tendency to give me his wallet, keys and whatever else he doesn't want to carry for himself. And I often carry snacks or the DSi for Harrison.
My dolls.. or Miss Gertrude got a mention on Indie Fixx yesterday in a post about some fantastic plush makers in the UK. I am quite speechless to be included with some very talented crafters.
a little meme unabashedly thieved from from Emma who stole it from someone else so its totally ok. Any Excuse to better my attempts at procrastination.. but first I must put the coffee machine one...
*slurps coffee* alrighty then lets begin at the beginning
A. Age: 33. Until the very end of next month.
B. Bed size: Double though it came from ikea so it is probably so odd measurement instead of an actual size.
C. Chore you dislike: hoovering and painting walls
D. Dogs: I wish. My parents have a pack of little pugs and I'm campaigning to get one here. I just need to find someone to take care of it when we go to visit my parents and thier dogs in the wilds of Idaho
E. Essential start to your day: Coffee....its the only way to start the day.
F. Favorite colour: Red.. which makes me laugh as I used to hate the colour back in the days of working at Target in Santa Rosa when I had to wear a red shirt every day. Strangely I never got phaser-ed or left behind on a mission to an alien world. Purple is my other favourite colour from when i was a little kid as I hated pink..and I still do.
G. Gold or silver: silver. my mother has always worn silver and so do I. Gold just seems a bit tacky.
H. Height: 5ft 5. I am average in height.
I. Instruments you play(ed): er none. I had a keyboard as a kid and taught myself to play jingle bells and a few other things. We also had to play recorders in school which was just painful. I have no musical aptitude whatsoever.
J. Job title: I'm technically secretary of the studio (Field Photographic) though I mostly just do busy work that Matt brings home for me.. occasionally if I'm very good or bad I get to help lug cameras about. Mostly I am at home, shoddily doing the housework, crafting, and lots of cooking to keep everyone happy.
K. Kids: just the Boy. but believe me he is enough trouble for anyone.
L. Live: Derbyshire England, the town isn't so great but we are very near to so beautiful places and now that spring is here everything will be lovely and happy. I am always in a much better mood when the sun returns to the sky.
M. Mom’s name: Marie
N. Nicknames: Meri. Its been that for awhile from mumsnet and a shortening of my blog Meridian Ariel, which used to be a chat room handle from ye olden days of the internet. I also always wanted a more exotic, less month based name when I was a kid and would pretend to be an assortment of Alexandrias, Meridians, Catherines, etc. I like Meri best though.
O. Overnight hospital stays: twice. the first time was when I was pregnant with H and had hyperemisis and was put on a drip for a week in hospital because I got so dehydrated from all the up-chucking all day every day. It was hell on earth. the other time was when I had H. they wanted to keep me in over night which was a good thing because I came down with the flu over night and was somewhat delirious.
P. Pet peeves: I have many. Top of the list is chewing with your mouth open. Talking with food in your mouth and generally being rude and obnoxious.
Q. Quote from a movie: ‘Shiny. Let's be bad Guys' Jayne in Serenity. I wear the quote in pin badge form on my jacket. It makes me happy.
R. Righty or lefty: lefty
S. Siblings: none. Just me.. unless you could all the animals I was raised with. ;o)
T. Time you wake up: 6.30 ish... well its aroudn then that H gets up and starts talking. I don't actually get out of bed till about 7am.
U. Underwear: Sainsbury's. I'm classy me.
V. Vegetables you don’t like: brussel sprouts. but broccoli hates me.
W. What makes you run late: I try not to be but usually its one of two reasons. 1) getting the Boy motivated and ready to go out is a nearly impossible task. And then when he is out you notice things like his trousers are on backwards or he has chocolate all over his face. or 2) I have at the last minute decided to do some chore or other. say laundry which means shuffling it all along the line. seperating stuff out. then making sure the cats aren't in the garage. The having to take the stupid cat Starbuck back to the house as he has tried to follow me down the road twice this past week and he has no brain.
X. X-rays you’ve had: dental x-rays only. I am thick boned and have never broken anything. touch wood.
Y. Yummy food you make: I'm pretty good in the kitchen. I bake all sorts of goodies cakes, muffins, brownies. And a pretty good cook for everything else. I do love to cook though I don't think I will ever be as good a chef as my dad. I rarely ever do full roast dinners except for holidays. I wait till we go visit my parents as my dad makes the best roast chicken and gravy, roast beef .. well anything. I miss my dad's cooking.
Z. Zoo animal favourites: I always loved seeing the tigers, but we used to go to Marine World Africa USA (which is now Six Flags Marine World) and there was a big tiger enclosure and the keepers would give them cream from a carton. I also loved to see the owls and any of the baby animals.
I was never one to write in diaries, I did get one or two diaries for gifts and as much as I ever wrote was...
Dear Diary,
Today I
...at which point I couldn't fathom writing any more to this 'Diary' person and never opened the diary again. Notebooks I love and covet and usually have several on the go. I have always liked making lists, filling little notebooks with lists of movies, music, recipes, books read, books to read, dreams (literal), dreams (not so literal), quotes, ideas and odd little doodles. Notebooks are grand places to use the pens I also hoard collect.
I like to think of this blog as one of my notebooks in the digital realm, its filled with the oddments of what makes me tick...or at least the censored not quite as depressive version of my exploits through life, the craft world and pottering in my kitchen. As its the new year... well still January I thought I should do some resolutions but I find resolutions difficult to adhere to so aside from the stand by of loose weight, eat less pudding and be happier... I'm going to put a list here of things I want to try this year (or the next) nothing major, I'm not talking jumping out of planes or swimming with sharks, this isn't a bucket list (or end up as pieces swept up into a bucket list).
so here goes
A list of list-y things:
*have a proper design for my blog
*write more ~stories, drabbles.. start small I'm not ready for novel writing.
*draw ~I haven't doodled much in the last few months and though my skills as an artist aren't legendary I still want to draw more.
*make a zine ~I need help here because I have ideas and stories and a few doodles but cannot wrap my head around printing them... so please help and harp at me.
*letterpress printing ~ I badgered the lovely jax to print an Ansel Adams quote for Matt's Christmas present and it has got me thinking that I would love to go to a workshop letterpress day to play with letters (no idea what I would make a print of...probably a Firefly quote *geek*)
*learn to crochet *again*
*make a small quilt (I started some blocks last year but that's as far as I got.
*paint and distress (farmhouse - americana - shabby chic sort of thing) the chairs and table from grandma's house that nobody wants.
*make jam (as I only have had one failed attempt at blackberry jam... and I actually don't really like blackberries.
*probably some other things to be added later but I need to get the house work done and bake some cakes...
The first few presents are wrapped up neatly in brown paper and stamped with fat snowflakes... er well its a doily stamp but it looks suitably snowflake-y. I'm happy with them anyway and though I don't feel all that Christmas-y yet I did string up the lights outside and put the tree up (with much internal swearing). As a family we all put the ornaments on (which I rearranged quite a few because I'm ever so slightly crazy). So far only two have leapt to the floor in a bid to escape. I love the lights but I have never been much of a fan of Christmas music (Matt says its because I'm a grinch) so we listened to Planet Rock while decorating and hoovering pine needles.
and this is a picture of my craft space, tidy isn't it? With two mostly made dolls (one in need of eyes and one I don't really like as she didn't go the way I wanted and I keep abandoning her various places around the house). Last night Matt hung the two frames above my desk, the smaller of the two is a button art piece by Megan (Vintage Violet), it has a Halloween theme but I loved it so much that I had to have it framed and finally up on the wall.
The larger frame makes me both happy and very sad as it is a tatted doily that Matthew's grandmother gave me for my birthday. She passed on a few months ago and she was a very special lady. This is the first I have blogged about it as we have all be very upset and its been a very stressful and upsetting time for all the family. She was lovely and always made me feel like I belonged in the family and always thought about my mother and loved the See's candy we would bring bake from the states though she wasn't supposed to eat it.
It will be a sad christmas this year. But we will try to make it special for Harrison who in typical child fashion takes things better than we grown up do.
I am crying now and I meant this post to be light and airy and I fear that won't happen now. And my laptop battery is nearly gone. So I'm going to watch something silly while curled up in bed and tomorrow I am making pancakes for breakfast.
I hate my photo being taken so despite Matt being a photographer I tend to hide from the camera more often than not. I'm short, I'm fat and I'm filled with the credited amount of self loathing and low self esteem that entails. I snapped this photo of myself on the day before my Birthday (the last day of April) and that is the most recent photographic evidence that I am indeed a real person. Oh and my little camera broke a few weeks ago and we only bought a replacement last night (that's my story and I'm sticking to it.)
*blatantly ignores all 20 zillion of Matt's cameras and the fact that I already blogged this photo awhile ago *
I probably read as much as I watch tv... more when I get into bookworm mode. I read mainly fantasy, sci-fi, horror, craft books and various paranormal/urban/fantasy/romance/horror/watchamacallit books. I love to get lost in a book and be somewhere far away from the mundane of everyday. I have so many favourite books and authors that I think I will pick something at random.
Illusion by Paula Volsky, I have read the book twice and would happily read it again if I hadn't inadvertently traded it in sometime in California or Idaho. I may need to order the book again so that I have it and can read it again. Its set in an alternative Earth of the French Revolution where magic exists. I really enjoyed the book it is beautifully descriptive and utterly fascinating.
30 days of blogging meme found via Rowan's Blog. I thought it was a lovely idea to get blogging more often.
Day 01 — A favourite song Day 02 — A favourite movie Day 03 — A favourite television program Day 04 — A favourite book Day 05 — A favourite quote Day 06 — Whatever tickles your fancy Day 07 — A photo that makes you happy Day 08 — A photo that makes you angry/sad Day 09 — A photo you took Day 10 — A photo of you taken over ten years ago Day 11 — A photo of you taken recently Day 12 — Whatever tickles your fancy Day 13 — A fictional book Day 14 — A non-fictional book Day 15 — A fanfic Day 16 — A song that makes you cry (or nearly) Day 17 — An art piece (painting, drawing, sculpture, etc.) Day 18 — Whatever tickles your fancy Day 19 — A talent of yours Day 20 — A hobby of yours Day 21 — A recipe Day 22 — A website Day 23 — A YouTube video Day 24 — Whatever tickles your fancy Day 25 — Your day, in great detail Day 26 — Your week, in great detail Day 27 — This month, in great detail Day 28 — This year, in great detail Day 29 — Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days Day 30 — Whatever tickles your fancy
so Day 1 a favourite song....
I have alot of favourite songs/albums, and each one means something difrent. I sometimes get obsessed with one and need to listen to it over and over so i can day dream/imagine stories/ think things through while I'm listening to it.... the last song I was obsessed with was....
Her Name is Alice by Shinedown (I also was obsessed with the cover of Simple Man they did)
4.I hate parties and social situations with more than a few people.
5.I’m a terrible housewife.
6.I love to cook.
7.I never follow recipes to the letter, I prefer to make things my own way and document the success or failure of the dish.
8.I hate blackcurrant.
9.I’m very often homesick for the States and would move back in a heartbeat if Matt would agree to it.
10.I live in my head more than I should.
11.I like to make other people happy, more than myself.
12.I can knit but I have difficulty understanding knitting patterns.
13.I am trying to learn to crochet...
14.It isn’t going very well.
15.I have a package of Reece’s Pieces in the cupboard calling my name.
16.I’m not nearly as witty and funny as i wish I was.
17.I write stories but not many people get to read the despite having a writing blog.
18.I always dreamed of writing a book, but have always talked myself out of it once I start writing.
19.I have been working on a fairy tale for 2 years and keep avoiding finishing it.
20.I don’t believe in myself.
21.I am not comfortable in my own skin.
22.I think I am a pretty good mother.
23.I doubt that I am a good mother.
24.I’m allergic to broccoli, sage, and bananas.
25.I love watching bad movies.
26.Book shops are my happy place I could spend days in a bookshop.
27.I’m currently obsessed with reading about bento boxes, I bought H one a while ago but have only used it once, so I’m researching. For the record they are amazing.
28.I love to listen to music when I’m walking, cooking, gardening, crafting.
29.I never believe my crafts are any good.
30.I still craft anyway.
31.I love estate sales and yard sales, but am not bothered about English Car Boot Sales.
32.I have never broken any bones.
33.I’m not a girly girl.
34.I rarely ever leave the house without makeup on.
35.My hair never does what I want it to do.
36.I hate British weather. winter lasts for 3 seasons and sometimes 4.
37.I love cheese.
38.I can’t abide fruity chocolate.
39.I hate shopping for clothes.
40.I love coffee, but I’m very fussy, it must be proper espresso, and won’t drink a coffee if they have scalded the milk.
41.I have very bad eyes, the world is a blur when I take my glasses off.
42.I can’t type for beans.
43.I dream of owning a Kitchen Aid standing mixer.
44.I can’t drive.
45.I cook most things from scratch, aside from the occasional take away or frozen pizza.
46.When I was little I wanted to be a girly Indian Jones...till I realized he was really a crap archaeologist.
47.I don’t drink, (more than a sip or two) though I cook with wine and cider.
48.I like to neaten things, and organize them. I hate clutter on kitchen counters.
49.I would love to have a dog, but Matt says no and it probably wouldn’t be fair to a dog when we go away to visit my parents for weeks at a time.
50.I hate mice, their tales freak me out.
51.I vaguely aspire to a rock-a-billy style, but am really to laze to be bothered about fashion much, I just love the hair ( Bettie Page style)
52.I love gothic things, and have always worn a lot of black, watched movies/read books in a gothic way but never could be assed to go goth.
53.I once temped at a stamp company in Santa Rosa, but never owned any stamps till recently.
54.I love fabric with text on it.
55.I take crap photographs, but that’s ok, because I married a photographer.
56.If it wasn’t for the show X- Files I may never have met Matt.
57.i‘m listening to Velvet Revolver while I write this.
58.I watch too much tv. House, Supernatural, Criminal Minds, CSI: Wherever, Bones, Fringe, True Blood, the one about the Geeks, Glee, Legend of the Seeker
59.I’m a Browncoat... for those of you as geeky as I.
61.I am very reserved and hide my emotions until I crack, start crying and can’t stop.
62.I suffer from depression.
63.I get very homesick for the States.
64.I love jelly belly jelly beans.
65.I’m a pretty decent cook, and love to potter about the kitchen.
66.I hate my photo being taken...so I married a photographer.
67.If I ever manage to finish this list I will make some sugar scrub.
68.The last movie I watched was Carriers, apocalyptic virus type movie.
69.Last night I watched thee episodes of The Big Bang Theory.
70.I have never broken a bone.
71.I started sewing some quilt blocks but only got as far as making 6 before abandoning the project. ( I will go back to it when I have learned to use my sewing machine a bit more)
72.I love cookbooks
73.But I rarely cook recipes exactly as they are printed.
74.I’ve never been drunk. (I’m too much of a control freak for that)
75.I drink full fat coca-cola none of that diet sh*t.
76.I should be sorting out the laundry now.
77.I really wish it was warm out so I could sit in the garden with my notebook/sketch book.
78.I hate cracking the spines on books, and will go out of my way not to.
79.I love pens and notebooks.
80.I’m a good navigator.
81.I have difficulty buying things for myself but love buying for others.
82.I am fiercely protective of H and his friends, and will not hesitate to tell off other kids that are being little shits to them.
83.I can’t stand when people talk with their mouths full of food, it winds me up terribly.
84.The last book I read was Too Many Curses by A Lee Martinez.
85.I’m so grateful for the blogging craft community for being such a happy and inspiring place.
86.I have dyed my hair, red, strawberry blonde, purple, and black.
87.My hair is naturally brown, like my eyes.
88.I never do my nails.
89.I live in my jeans.
90.I don’t draw as much as I used to, though I have never been that great an artist.
91.I’m an average 5’5”
92.You probably wouldn’t notice me.
93.My birthday was the last day of April.
94.I’m 33. *counts on fingers* yeah that’s right...I think
95.I still can’t put on mascara properly.
96.At night I like to lay still and imagine stories that I rarely ever write down.
97.I worry too much.
98.I like to walk on my own listening to my music lost in my own little world.
99.My ears aren’t pierced.
100.I’m not sure anyone will take the time to read all of this.
