Wednesday, 18 November 2009

friendship meme

best friends, H and Frankie (taken last April)

1. What does “friendship” mean to you?

I think friendship means many different things, it means love, and trust, and can be shared in many different ways. My longest friendship is with Meg who I have known since high school, we talk at random intervals, online or on the phone, but when we do its like we were never apart and can still reminisce about smuggling Chinese food into the movie theater, or the silly (and horrendously complicated) MASH games we used to play.

I think you tailor your personality to mesh with whatever friend you are with at the time. That doesn't sound quite right but I'm sure you all have a shopping friend, a tv junky friend, all these different aspects of your own personality that you share with different friends who have that same aspect in common.

I also think that friendship equals family, I grew up with just my parents, far away from any blood relatives, and as such I think that your friends become your family. I have no siblings but I think the friends you are closest to become your sisters, your brothers, and you can rely on them as you would any blood relation. And friends can walk on 4 legs as well as two. *looks at Frankie and the Boy*

2. What are the qualities you look for in a good friend?
humor, truth, having something in common to talk about, obsess over, hate, somebody to fuss over my cooking doesn't hurt either. ;o)

3. When does an acquaintance become a “friend”?

When you have laughed together. I'm mostly a dour sort of person, or at least that's how I see myself most of the time and it

4. What makes a friendship become more or less significant to you?

Trust ... I think the more trust you have in a friendship the stronger the friendship is.

5. What aspects of yourself do you share with a friend that you do not share with others?

My inner thoughts, my slightly dark sense of humour, bad moods and dark days.

6. What aspects of yourself do you usually hold back in your friendships?

I'm a cautious person, and it takes awhile for me to open up and trust people. I live in my head and it often times takes a lot of effort to share the person in my mind with the outside world. I think often that I live in two different worlds, or perhaps I appear to be two different people, the person who tiptoes through the world and the person that I am in my writing, my art, and on the Internet. I think I am far more interesting as Meri than I am as Apryl, through they are obviously both me. The more I get to know you there more I am myself, or the diffrent aspects of myself aren't so closely guarded the more trust there is.

7. What do you expect from your friends?

Honesty, respect, inspiration, truth, and sarcasm, people to eat the cakes I bake, share books, and watch terrible movies with me, to listen to my whinging while I listen to theirs.

8. How does one’s willingness to be vulnerable impact friendship development?

If you can't open your heart to your friends then how can you be friends?

9. Where are your closest friends?

that all depends on your personal definition of close...

Frizbe is closest as she lives in the same town as me and is the friend I made in England (though I still maintain she felt sorry for me having to lay down in the middle of Parentcraft Class when I was pregnant and had hyperemisis and ridiculously low blood pressure.
Meg: in California (who I have know forever and she still likes me),
Jaci:who I knew in school but lost contact until the magic of the internet and the realization that both our sons are named H.
Selena:who I admire no end for her creativity, courage, and bright spirit
Gin: who says "Oh My Gosh" more than anyone I have ever known
Marina:who glees at crappy films and swaps Paranormal Romance novels with me
Ali: who makes me laugh and is an all around kind spirit,
Katy: who loves dark chocolate, is more stylish than I will ever be, is beautiful and thin (which I obviously hate her for ;o) ...) and promises to teach me to quilt)
Flame: who adores Supernatural, and borrows all my Urban Fantasy books, loves Joss Whedon, listens to me whinge and whine, and shared the misery of depression and Hyperemisis (if you haven't had it you won't understand) ...

There are so many more friends on the interwebs that I just haven't met yet but we email, we blog, we send handmade crafts, commiserate about demonic children, messy husbands, a love of crappy movies, tv shows, books, buttons, geeks, writing, crafting, baking, mullet rock, and Joss Whedon. Friends on Facebook, on Crafteroo, Mumsnet, and twitter too. People that inspire me to be a better me. I'm not listing all of your names( because I will forget someone as my coffee hasn't kicked in yet) but I hope you know who you are and think of me as your friend too.

There might be people who don't count these as friendships but I do, I can express more in my writing than I can say aloud. My best friend, my husband met me on the internet all those many years ago, and though I didn't fall in love with him until we were friends in real life he was still my friend online and in the X-Files fandom (yes we are geeks but I recon you knew that already)

10. How have you changed as a person through your friendships with others?

I have learned so many things from my friends. I am quite an introverted person but not all my friends share this somewhat debilitating state. I have learned how to laugh at myself, to share my depressions and sorrows, the things that I guard the most behind the locked doors and brick walls I have built in my mind. I would be like the shadow I was in high school, that haunted the halls and walk through life without making an impression on the world surrounding me if it wasn't for my friends.

11. Who is your Best Friend?

M is... he puts up with the most crap from me, and I really couldn't go on day to day with out him there to make me laugh, make me smile, and annoy the hell out of me. He geeks out with me at crappy horror movies, argues with me about music (we mostly have similar tastes but he does have a thing for whiny music and I'm more of a Metal Head that him) ... if we weren't friends than I don't think we would be married as long as we have.

12. Who is your newest Friend?

Amanda, she was my partner in the 80's Fantasy Movie Swap. We haven't met in person yet but we have a lot in common, we are both a little unbalanced (in the good kind of way..I think) both Ex- Pats(though she is probably more hard core than I as she lives in Scotland and I'm just in the Midlands), we both love True Blood, and adore geeks. She is fantastically funny, is amazingly talented and she has the most awesome photoshop skills...ever.


Kitschy Coo said...

Here's me reading through your post with interest and admiration and then up pops me! I'm honoured to be included in your friendship meme and hope we'll have the chance to meet up someday. Hand on heart, I will bow down and worship your baking. And I love the pic of H and the dog.

Vonnie said...

Awwwwwww :)

Primrose Corner said...

That's a lovely piece of writing. I recognise myself in a lot of what you've said about friendships. Friends are definately what you need to help you through life (not forgetting the coffee of course!)

Anonymous said...

Wow, I recognise some of myself in there too. Three of the people I now count as my closest friends I actually met online and I love being a part of this kind of crafty/bloggy community.

I love your writing and I think you are very talented. I can't draw to save my life, so I'm always in awe of anyone who can! I've got a lot of inspiration from the things you post as well, everything from lavender bags to tea staining pages!


Apron Thrift Girl said...

So honored to have made your list Apryl. You are very blessed to have so much friendship in your life. My four years in the UK were so lonely. Of course the internet was just taking off. I imagine that it's a different world now for an ex-pat. Looking forward to seeing you in the spring.

Carmen said...

I can really relate to a lot of this post. I also count my closest friends online too and I met my partner online nearly 8 years ago - how did we ever live without the net?

Talking of the swap - I finally sent my bits to Megan and have blogged them. Thank you so much for an amazingly brilliant swap, it was so much fun!

Felinedream said...

That was a beautiful post. Many of the people I call my closest friends, including my hubby, I also met online.

My computer is broken just now so I'm only getting sporadic net acces thanks to my iPod touch. I miss talking to my friends so much. The net is a wonderful thing sometimes.