For awhile now I have been toying with the idea of selling the cakes I make but as a dreamer I find it very difficult in putting these ideas into gear and making wishful thinking into some semblance of reality. I probably need some one to either hold my hand or drag my sorry procrastinating ass kicking and screaming into the land of action, productivity, and the real world. Meanwhile I just stick my head in the sand and play the semi-domestic diva, languishing in a slightly haphazard house playing Suzie homemaker while M goes off to work everyday. Its not all chocolates and soap operas, as H is still running around half the time and even when he is at pre-school I’m still surrounded by the chaos he has left behind Like the aftermath of a toddler sized tornado.
I love to cook and bake for husband, son, family, and friends. Though I have no delusions of being a master chef, Nigella I’m not, but I guess the fat around my middle doesn’t lie! To tell the truth I’m scared that if I were to do something that it would be a complete and utter failure, as I have felt about so many things in my life. I’m afraid that I would sit there with my little cupcake stall and not sell a damn one. Which is silly I know, its that whole low self esteem issue rearing its ugly head. I keep wondering, especially now having reached 30, if I’m ever going to stop feeling like I’m some useless teenager and have some sort of self belief. Wisdom come with age but obviously 30 isn’t aged enough yet for me to feel like a grownup whatever that is.
I’ve been sitting doodling up logos for my cupcake dreams, which might just be the saddest thing or not, I don’t know if I have the courage to get out there and try to sell some, H’s nursery has a summer party with stall and the like and I said to M that my cakes, and flapjack are nicer that what was on offer last year. So I sit here and think about having a little stall to sell Meridian Cupcakes. It has a nice ring to it…maybe…somebody push me…
would you buy a cupcake from me?